When Your Baby Won’t Stop Crying How to Comfort and Soothe an Upset or Colicky Baby It’s tough when your baby won’t stop crying....
When Your Baby Won’t Stop Crying
How to Comfort and Soothe an Upset or Colicky Baby
It’s tough when your baby won’t stop crying. You may be worried that something is wrong with your child, that you’ll lose your cool, that your parenting skills aren’t up to the job, or that you’ll never connect with your baby. But you can handle it! Learning the right techniques can help soothe an upset, unresponsive, or colicky baby while keeping you calm and in control.
Every baby is different (but they all cry)
You already know that no two babies are alike, but this reality may still hit you hard when you hear other parents talking about how easy their babies are or how their newborn sleeps peacefully through the night. Try to avoid comparisons and specific expectations, as they can create negative feelings—especially if you have a very challenging baby. Give yourself a break if you are having feelings you didn't expect. It may take a bit of time to get in sync with your baby, but the extra work will be worth it!
In stressful situations—when your baby won’t stop crying or won’t respond to you, and when you are feeling frustrated, tired and angry—you need to develop some strategies for taking care of yourself. When you’re calm and centered, you’ll be better able to figure out what’s going on with your child and soothe his or her cries.
Coping with a crying, colicky, or unresponsive baby
Recognize your limits. Pay attention to internal warning signs when you are feeling overwhelmed. The sooner you spot your personal limits, the easier it is to plan ahead—for extra help, a break, an excursion outside, or a quick pep talk from a friend or loved one. The small things you do to prepare will help you get in the best frame of mind to care for your baby.
Remember that time is on your side. For most babies, crying peaks at six weeks and then gradually eases off. There is an end to the crying on the horizon! You may have to put in a little extra work right now and be very patient, but things will get better.
Reach out for support. If you can, enlist help during the fussiest times of the day. Say yes when people offer to help with housework, meals, or babysitting. Find a group of moms to talk to and get out of the house when you can. Knowing you have some help on the way can make a big difference.
You don’t have to be perfect. Parenting is not about perfection. It would be impossible to be fully present and attentive to an infant, especially a crying infant, 24 hours a day. Experts estimate that meeting your infant’s needs at leastone third of the time is enough to support healthy bonding and secure attachment. Don’t worry about getting it exactly right all of the time. Instead, try to relax and enjoy the times when your baby isn’t crying.
Dr. Robert Hamilton, a Santa Monica pediatrician, has developed a quick way to calm a very young crying baby using “the hold”.
Ask yourself what your baby needs
Babies cry for many reasons, and crying is the main way babies communicate. It’s the way they capture your attention and express their needs. At first, it may be difficult to understand your baby’s different cries, but as you spend more time listening, you will become better at recognizing and meeting your child’s specific needs.
Common reasons babies cry
- Sleepiness or fatigue
- Wet or dirty diaper
- Hunger
- Overstimulation from noise or activity
- Colic, acid reflux, or food allergies
- Pain or illness
- Gas
- Stranger anxiety or fear
Is your baby unresponsive or indifferent?
Most babies use crying to communicate and they will continue to cry or show that they are upset until a parent or caregiver responds to their needs. Other babies, instead of crying, become upset and then tune out and fail to show any emotion. If you think about it, you probably know more than one adult who acts this way when faced with difficulty. An unresponsive baby might seem like an easy baby, because he or she may be quiet and agreeable. But a baby that doesn’t respond to you, the environment, and sensory influences needs help. Call your pediatrician right away.
